I would like to point out

I love serving others and giving. I like making someone's day, giving encouragement, and doing something unexpected. It brings me happiness. I like knowing that I may have done something to lift their spirits, even if it's just for a brief second. I am a very service oriented individual. 

 However, when I work on something, and I go out of my way to do something, it would be nice if: 1) it actually worked out, and my efforts weren't a complete waste 2) if they could be sincerely grateful and 3) maybe eventually return the favor (I know asking a lot. This one isn't that necessary to me. I'm okay with giving and not receiving for the most part).  

It drives me nuts when I take the time to do something and it doesn't work out, especially if it's something that I do against my better judgement. I'm being nice when sometimes I shouldn't go through that effort especially if they treated me a certain way. I know that has something to do with holding grudges, but there is a limit to how many times someone can put up with getting mistreated by another person. I tend to overlook that and do it anyways though. Hence the regretting afterwards because of how it played out or how they responded. I'll still continue giving no matter how someone treats me, it's just who I am. 

And as far as the being grateful, I like doing things usually without them knowing. But when it is obvious, give credit where credit is due. Just a simple thanks would be nice. I try to show my gratitude, it makes me a happier person and makes me realize blessings I have in my life. 

My situation currently would be the first, wasted effort. And now, here I sit disappointed that I even bothered going through with it all. It was a simple off on timing thing, but still if you knew the story behind this, you would understand my frustrations. I give them credit for at least thanking me for the thought...blah.

Don't find me odd,(even though I really am) but I have to write poetry for my creative writing class. I just wrote a poem about this. ha. I'm actually enjoying writing poetry. In a few short words you can expound on so much. Every line can take on a different meaning. Fascinating really. Plus, I kind of feel better now, after writing it. Maybe I'll share my poetry in the next few posts. We shall see. 

I'm done now. Thanks for reading. And I should have entitled this blog something about vent, rants, and other negativity...that tends to be what I'm doing lately. The glass is half full.... optimism. yessss

xoxo